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Governmental Cattle “rustling”


  A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous  pasture in  California when suddenly a brand-new  BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of   dust.  
                     
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie,  leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you  exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a  calf?"
 

       Bud  looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his  peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"  
         
      The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell  notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V9 cell  phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a  GPS satellite to get an exact  fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that  scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution  photo.
          
      The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports  it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany  .
          
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has  been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database  through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry  and, after a few minutes, receives a  response.
           
      Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his  hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and  calves."  
          
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says  Bud. He watches the young man select  one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs  it into the trunk of his car.  
            
      Then Bud says to the young man, "I'll bet your BMW that I can  tell you exactly what your business is…"  
            
      The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay,  why not?"
          

       "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.  
            
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess  that?"
            
     "No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here  even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I  already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars  worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you  are;  and you don't know a thing about how working people make a  living – or about cows, for that matter.   
    
      
This is a herd of sheep. Now give me the keys to my new car so I can let my dog out of the  trunk…"

    

  

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